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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26834821">This explains everything (this explains nothing)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckyloki/pseuds/luckyloki'>luckyloki</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, I love this woman so much please help me, Klaus meets Eudora, basically she doesn't know diego is a hargreeves kid because he used a different surname, idk i feel like eudora would like klaus she would find him endearing, like a little brother, no beta we die like ben, thats my fave tag ever bye</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:02:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,170</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26834821</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckyloki/pseuds/luckyloki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“She was definitely guilty.” A cheerful voice announced. </p><p>Patch spun around to face the lone man, lounging in the cell. He was tall and skinny, with the starts of a goatee on his chin. His hair was curly, dark and sticking up on odd angles. He looked around her age, yet had a childlike quality around him. </p><p>The clothes he wore were unusual, to say the least. A purple sequined jacket that definitely wasn’t appropriate for the chilly fall weather. Black skinny jeans with embroidered flowers, and a black-green vest shirt that ended just above his belly button. He should be freezing, and yet looked as content as one could be in cell. </p><p>“What makes you say that, Mr Hargreeves?”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Diego Hargreeves &amp; Eudora Patch, Diego Hargreeves &amp; Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves/Eudora Patch, Klaus Hargreeves &amp; Eudora Patch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>160</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>This explains everything (this explains nothing)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey !!! this is my first fic posted on ao3 so plz be nice !!!<br/>constructive criticism is always wanted, please give kudos and comment &lt;333</p><p>Anyway Diego didn't tell Eudora that he was an umbrella kid and Klaus has a big mouth</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eudora Patch was not having a wonderful day. She had a large stack on paperwork on her desk, Richards had just spilt coffee down her shirt, and the department was so damn loud. There had been people coming in and out all day. </p><p>She knew it was a Friday, but seriously people. </p><p>Changing into a spare shirt she had borrowed from lost and found (and thank the heavens above there was a plain black one- there were some seriously terrible choices), she started the paperwork. It was mindless and repetitive work that she finished quickly. In a way, Patch was glad for the stifling dullness since it kept her mind from drifting. </p><p>Diego had shown up at yet another crime scene the day before. He had been kicked out of the academy only a year ago, but was still moody about it. The self-proclaimed ‘hero’ had gotten into the habit of inviting himself along on police work and it was seriously pissing her off.<br/>
She had mixed feelings about him. He was a royal pain in her ass, sure, but he was still the person she fell in love with. He was incredibly caring and loyal, even if he hated to show it. From what she could gather, he had had a traumatic childhood, which led him to believe that positive emotions were weak. </p><p>Deep down, Patch knew they wouldn’t last. They were both much too stubborn, with very different outlooks on the world. She still loved him though, no matter how much she tried to deny it.</p><p>“Patch?” Steven’s voice brought her back to the present. “I’ve got a family emergency back home. My mum had a stroke, I need to go. Can you finish processing the criminals? There are only two left.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah of course.” She nodded, putting away her pen and closing the files. “God, I hope she’s ok. I’m so sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“Now, what have we got here.” She muttered to herself, looking at the paperwork she had been given. </p><p>One older female, convicted with assault. Her bail had already been paid, so she was just waiting for someone to go pick her up. </p><p>The second person was a younger man, in on drug-related charges. A family member was going to collect him, and he would go free. He had apparently been arrested a couple of times, but Patch had never seen him before. </p><p>The woman’s associate came to collect her a couple of minutes later. Patch walked in to let her out, and sorted out the handover.</p><p>“She was definitely guilty.” A cheerful voice announced. </p><p>Patch spun around to face the lone man, lounging in the cell. He was tall and skinny, with the starts of a goatee on his chin. His hair was curly, dark and sticking up on odd angles. He looked around her age, yet had a childlike quality around him. </p><p>The clothes he wore were unusual, to say the least. A purple sequined jacket that definitely wasn’t appropriate for the chilly fall weather. Black skinny jeans with embroidered flowers, and a black-green vest shirt that ended just above his belly button. He should be freezing, and yet looked as content as one could be in a cell. </p><p>“What makes you say that, Mr Hargreeves?”</p><p>“Kept… grinning, talking to herself.” He said thoughtfully, obviously still riding a high. “And not in a fun way. Bad vibes. And don’t call me that, makes me sound like daddy dearest. I’m Klaus.” </p><p>She couldn’t think how muttering to yourself could be fun. But this man was obviously out of his mind zooted. He didn’t have to make sense. “Okay, Klaus. Bad vibes, you say?”</p><p>“Yep.” He nodded, making a shooing gesture to an invisible force next to him. “Shut up.” He muttered angrily.</p><p>“What?” She said, bewildered. </p><p>“Not you. Do you know when someone is gonna come to bail me out?” He changed the subject.</p><p>“No idea, sorry. The guy who was on duty before me called your usual. Apparently, you’re a regular?” She snorted, watching him flop down on the bench dramatically.</p><p>“Diego’s probably off brooding. I wish he would hurry up though, the seating situation is really uncomfortable.” </p><p>“I’ll report that to my superiors.” She smirked, but felt her heart skip a beat. “Wait, Diego? Full black leather, knife problem?”</p><p>“That’s the one. My favourite brother.” He said, while glaring at the corner again. </p><p>“Brother?” She spluttered. “Diego has a sibling?”</p><p>“I mean, yeah. There are seven of us. Well, were. One is dead and the other is kind-of-dead-slash-missing, so…” He rambled, and then looked her in the eye. “Did you not know he was in the Academy?”</p><p>Her mind raced. She knew exactly what he was talking about it, yet couldn’t admit it. It explained the hero complex, the freakishly good fighting skills, the mystery of his upbringing. His knife throwing ability. But it had also meant that he had been lying to her; lying about being in the Umbrella Academy, about being a literal child superhero.</p><p>“He evidently didn’t think that was important.” She said after a while, trying to keep her voice level. </p><p>“How do you know him, anyway?”</p><p>“We dated, for a while. When he was in the police academy.” She answered, sitting down and watching the other man on the opposite side of the bars. </p><p>“Christ on a cracker, that’s gotta hurt.” He laughed a little, then sobered after looking at that damn corner again. “All of our childhoods were terrible though, I’m not surprised Di decided to run from it.”</p><p>“Was it that bad?” She said, curious.</p><p>“I knew how the easiest way to kill someone before I knew my time's tables.” He shrugged, fiddling with his jacket. “There is a reason why there’s only a couple of us left.”</p><p>“Shit… That’s…”</p><p>“But enough about that! Let’s change the subject.” He perked up, smiling goofily. “Wanna hear about the time I cut this guy I was dating’s pubes with a<br/>
conch shell?” </p><p>“What?” She snorted in surprise.</p><p>A noise from the door took her attention away from Klaus. She saw Diego helping himself into the room, looking angry. </p><p>“I’m too busy to keep bailing you out of these messes.” He practically spat, glaring at his brother. She watched in amusement as his face went through a whirlwind of emotions after spotting her. </p><p>“Eudora!”</p><p>“I’ve told you not to call me that.” She said. “Diego Hargreeves.”</p><p>Klaus clapped his hands. “Ooh, drama!” </p><p>“Shut up, Klaus.” Diego groaned, then turned back. “I meant to tell you at some point, but-,”</p><p>“Save it. I don’t care. Sign your brother out and leave, thanks.” She sighed and passed over the paperwork she had been holding onto.<br/>
He did as she asked, taking his brother roughly by the arm and walking out. He turned back to say something, but she put a hand up to silence him. </p><p>“Bye, Klaus.” She said instead, rolling her eyes when he waved his hand with ‘goodbye’ tattooed on the palm. He was a strange character indeed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>kudos and comments plz !!! tell me what i can improve on and what you like !!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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